We used to nickname her pumpkin when she was younger

Friday, April 12, 2013

Follow up post

Grief doesn't end in one year, over 20 months later and I still cry almost every day for Alysia.  However, I want anyone who finds this blog to know that somehow life does go on. If you're curious to know how I am doing now, I have a  new blog.  It is new as of the date I write this but you will see that I still grieve my beautiful daughter but I also live.  I want to experience joy again, I want to laugh, I want to love and I want to remember Alysia and honor her by living a happy life.

To those who may be experiencing grief now, just know that it will never go away.  The hole will always be there, the tears will always flow but in between those times you will find joy again.  You can love again, you can live again, you can have fun again.  Don't be afraid, you are not dishonoring your loved one by even hoping what I wrote will be true for you some day.  I still experience guilt that I am not crying 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I worry I am dishonoring Alysia's life but would be a dishonor to not allow good things to happen, to not allow happy emotions to heal us, to not allow love to fill up some of that void in our hearts.  I don't think Alysia would want me to still be crying over her non-stop.  Sometimes when I do cry, I almost here her saying to me "c'mon it's been almost 2 years, please don't cry for me anymore"

So here is my new blog address.  If you are curious, feel free to stop in and follow me through what currently gives me joy, what currently heals my heart and what currently I am feeling...the good and the sad.